Are you waiting for something? Someone? Some time? Does it feel like it’s been forever? Then, when one prayer is answered, you’re left waiting on something else? I think it’s fair to say we’re all waiting for something. A job offer, an acceptance letter, a relationship, a marriage, a long-awaited pregnancy, a change, the coming of Christ…
I can honestly say that waiting is one of the most difficult things for me to do. Left to my own devices, I am a total Type A, perfectionist, go-getter. I wanna get it done, and I wanted to get it done like yesterday. But God has such a gentle way of giving me opportunities to grow.
This last summer, after dedicating a year of working with a ministry for little to no income, I set out on my job search. On one hand, the sky was the limit; I could do just about anything and live just about anywhere. But the fact that there were so many options was also overwhelming and intimidating. I started to apply for jobs, jobs I didn’t even really want and got really discouraged when I didn’t get them. I mean, I know it’s a tough market, but don’t these people know who I am? Can’t they see my work history and my excellent education? Isn’t it obvious that I am a super hard worker? And why isn’t God providing for me? Seriously, the ego is definitely something to reckoned with.
I had never had difficulty finding work in the past, even with issues that should have been obvious obstacles. And I would have taken anything, settled for whatever. I wonder how many times I’ve ‘settled’ in the past when God’s ideas were much better… But He is gracious and merciful. I ended up taking a little temp gig doing accounts payable and deposits for a government entity. It was one of the funnest office experiences I’ve ever had and I got to learn a lot and meet some amazing people. Of course my ego told me the job was sooo beneath my qualifications – but it was a perfect distraction for my ‘waiting’ period.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6
Thankfully, I was blessed with a job that is totally suited for me and my skill set as well as my passions, and offers a lot of growth and learning opportunities to boot. I’m new and I have a huge learning curve, but I know once I settle in, it’s going to be one of those gigs that doesn’t even feel like I’m working.
But the waiting, in the meantime, was so difficult. It’s easy to see how God worked it all out for good now that I’m on the other side. But while I was going through it, it felt like it would never end. I felt physically crushed at one point by the self-imposed pressure of the whole situation. And though I hate to admit it, and it sounds absolutely insane – I absolutely love those times when the only thing I can do is be dependent on and wait on the Lord.
I may have landed the dream job for now, but of course there are new things I’m waiting on – like learning how to be perfect at my job, of course. And still things I’m waiting on, for like forever… Those close to me that I share my heart with know some things that I’ve been waiting on for over 8 years. Oh the heartache of THAT waiting period. I’m so grateful I get to be honest with those closest to me, invite them to support me in prayer and encourage me with love. Most of all, I know that God is with me, He is enough for me, my focus will remain on Him. As He whispers “wait” into my ear, He is holding me in the palm of His hand, and I pray that is where I remain.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
What are you waiting on? Do you believe that God is with you every step of the way? How do faith and works come together for you during these times?