Old Terror New Grace

Old Terror New Grace

Do you have someone in your life that hurts you over and over again regardless of your actions and behaviors?

The knife pierces my heart and I feel the searing pain and the questions begin. What did I do wrong? What should I have done differently? How many times do I have to apologize for the same old grievances? How should I change my behavior so this doesn’t happen anymore? The journey over eggshells begins; and yet the knife pierces again.

I have been in recovery for 10 years and I still have a relationship in my life that continues to shred me, scar me and plants the seed of shame in my heart. But……it’s a blood relation…I have to keep it right? This is where I stumble…my tools tell me “To thine own self be true”, my God tells me, “you have been washed clean with the blood”. What do I do? What is the right answer?

2Cor 12:9- But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

While I don’t have all of the answers, I do know that God doesn’t require me to be subject to abuse just because this person is family. Today- it is ok for me to walk away. Tomorrow, God may put something else on my heart about this relationship but tomorrow isn’t here yet so I will have to take today as it is.

2Cor 12:10- That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

So, if this holiday season has you in close proximity to a painful relationship lean into the grace that is reserved just for you, for your heart specifically. Know that you are not alone. You are the beloved of God and no one can interfere in that truth.

What painful relationship do you struggle with? What have you done to break free?

Jennifer

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