5 Reasons I Love Rebellion

5 Reasons I Love Rebellion

Rebellion is a word, in some ways, I can get really excited about. In other ways, not so much. My mind goes in two different directions when I think about this powerful word. It brings back many memories of my teenage and college years and most of my 20’s. It reminds me of when I lied to my parents and coaches about drinking and smoking, or when I used my fake ID to get into that rockin’ nightclub, or when I completely made up a new name for the cop when he was asking me who I was. Basically, just doing whatever I wanted to do, not caring about the consequences. In my mind, I was livin’ the “rebel dream”… my idea of what a rebel was supposed to be…and it was awesome.

That type of rebellion is EASY though. It obviously required very little thinking on my part. I thought, “If it looks like fun or makes me feel really good, I’ll try it.”

Today I look at rebellion in a new light that is much more meaningful and powerful! I’m talkin’ about rebellion where the IMG_5745stakes are raised, bringing it to a whole new level. It isn’t for the weak. It can only be acted out by those with great strength. It requires a BOLDNESS. a COURAGE, a HARD CORE mindset. STANDING UP REGARDLESS OF ANYTHING OR ANYONE WHO IS TRYING TO KNOCK ME DOWN. STRAIGHT UP FIERCENESS! Now that’s what makes the term rebellion take on a much heavier weight and purpose…and it’s HARD TO DO. This is what separates the girls from the women, the boys from the men.

This type will go against the grain of society…against the norm of our “it’s all about me” culture in order to make HIM known.

The apostle Paul talks about the last days in 2 Timothy 3:1-5,

“But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness but denying its’ power.”

I think it’s safe to say that we are in this era that Paul is talking about in this passage. If I have a moment where I ignore God’s guidance, I can easily fall into any one of Paul’s descriptions.

Paul himself admitted this same struggle. He said in Romans 7:21:

“When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.”

He goes on to talk further about the war that rages in his mind of good vs. evil. Just like Paul, my sin nature is raging war against me all the time. This very reason is why this type of rebellion is at a whole new level. I will say, the hardest things I do often become the most fulfilling. And rebelling for Jesus is at the top of my list. I will certainly admit, I’m not perfect at it, but because I’ve tasted how good it is, it’s the only kind of rebelling I want to do.

Here’s why:

1. It’s where I grow the most. – It’s a day to day dependence on Him. I have to lay my ego down. This is what makes it hard and GREAT all at the same time! As I depend on Him through His word and in prayer, he transforms my thinking and my heart. Wisdom seeps in and He begins to guide my life.

“BLESSED are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding, for wisdom is more profitable than silver and yields better returns that gold.” – Proverbs 3:13-14

2. It’s the most satisfying and fulfilling. – It’s a level where peace transcends all understanding no matter my circumstances, a level where I can have joy like a child, where I am fulfilled in a way that I no longer have to keep searching. I’m content. I’m secure. Because of that security, I have the strength to be BOLD, COURAGEOUS, and FIERCE…FOR HIM.

“Then Jesus declared, I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.” –John 6:35

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled” – Matthew 5:6

3. I’m FREE. – Every “Rebel” wants to be free! Paul said it best in Romans 8:1 “the law of the Spirit of Life sets me free from the law of sin and death.” I no longer am locked up in guilt or shame because of my sins. Jesus took care of that when He died on the cross for me…and YOU. Letting go of all that junk releases me to do the work He has for me while on this earth. If I’m fulfilling my purpose for Him, He is glorified and I am satisfied.

4. I’m guaranteed eternal life. No matter what happens to me on earth, I know I have a place with Him for eternity. Is there really a greater gift than that? I’m talkin’ ETERNITY!! That’s what this type of rebellion brings! C’MON!! Can I get a Hallelujah?

“For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” –John 3:16.IMG_8333

5. I’m not alone.Annnnd…that’s the POINT. He wants me to choose HIM. Jesus is my strength in the war.

“The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the STRENGTH of my life-of whom shall I be afraid?” -Psalm 27:1.

He wants to show me what He can do in me and through me, which is what I could never do on my own. That’s the strength that brings this rebellion to a whole new level. It can’t be matched by ANYONE or ANYTHING. Therefore, if I want to win, I must have Him in my life. And let’s get real, I don’t like being alone. With Him, I never am.

BOLDNESS. COURAGE. That HARD CORE mindset. STANDING UP REGARDLESS OF ANYTHING OR ANYONE WHO IS TRYING TO KNOCK ME DOWN. STRAIGHT UP FIERCENESS. THIS kind of rebellion is an exciting way to live and that’s why I love it! My hope is that you too will be a rebel with me.

God bless,

Christy

Surprising Discovery on Valentine’s Day

Surprising Discovery on Valentine’s Day

It took me years and years and YEARS to ever really appreciate this holiday we call Valentine’s Day. From my past experience, it has been nothing but a disappointment…why? Well, let’s examine where the heartache could be rooted. My memories include: getting a charming card…instead of chocolate, a stuffed bear…instead of chocolate, gorgeous flowers…instead of chocolate, or receiving nothing at all…which means once again…yep…no chocolate. I believe the root of my disappointment simply stems from the lack of chocolate provided during this “chocolate holiday.” When I really examine it further though, I realize, there actually was chocolate involved in most of those cases. So how did I miss it? Well…it wasn’t ENOUGH chocolate. Therefore, for me, it goes into the “no chocolate” category. Anyone that knows me, can attest that chocolate is one of my favorite and greatest weaknesses. If it’s in the room…I will be sitting near the bowl that the chocolate is in, or I will have the bowl in my lap…or…if the bowl is big enough, I might even be sitting IN the bowl. 😉

Of course, I hope you know I’m being a bit facetious here. I know Valentine’s Day isn’t all about me, and it’s certainly not all about me receiving chocolate. I fully understand that it’s an added opportunity for us to give and show that special someone in our lives a little extra love and/or romance. But I can’t help but face the hard truth that I can easily make it all about me and it can happen fast.

Selfish love. That’s basically what I’m talking about here…loving someone with the expectation that I’ll receive, at least to some degree and in some form, love back. We all want to be loved right? What’s so wrong about that? I’ll give love to you, and then you give love back to me…right? This can certainly work and it does in a GAZILLION cases (is gazillion even a word?).

I’m finally realizing that this kind of love is just scratching the surface of what it’s REALLY supposed to be about. I believe I was created to love in a much deeper, greater way that can be even more fulfilling than the basic love I mentioned above. How? It’s when I turn that selfish love into Christ’s love.Untitled Of course, I can’t do that without Christ. I have to Know Him in order to love like Him. He’s the one who created this whole love thing in the first place. Without Him, I just love the best I know how, which usually includes those subconscious selfish needs wanting to be met, whether I even realize it or not.

I’m talking about that crazy supernatural love of Christ that doesn’t look to get anything back…EVER. It’s so good that it can soften a heart that has been hardened for years, give peace to a grieving parent who has lost a child, take a person in full blown addiction into a new life of freedom, cast out any and all fears, forgive and restore abusers who have destroyed lives…THAT kind of love. It’s in a league of its’ own!

I’ve come to realize that the more I know who He is, the more capable I am of loving like He loves. To do this, I have to stay close to him. It’s learning about His character through His word, asking Him to guide my every move, being still and listening, and most importantly – placing HIM before anyone or anything else in my life. If I do those things, He shows up in me and loves through me. Then…and only then…I start to love without those expectations, because I’m loving others for Christ, and not for myself.

One of the most surprising blessings of all of this is that it’s the most fulfilling love I have ever experienced.Who would’ve thought selfless love would be the most fulfilling love? Christ thought of it. It’s His design and that’s why it works.

“Then Jesus declared, ‘I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.’” – John 6:35.

That’s what God wants to do with all of us. He wants us to experience His love and through that, lives will be transformed, INCLUDING OUR OWN.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” Matthew 5:8

So, as I sit here reflecting back on the lack of chocolate I’ve received over the years and the past disappointing Valentine’s Days I’ve “suffered” through, I laugh because of how much I have missed the mark. Today, I have a new and different perspective on February 14th. It’s another chance to celebrate the love, in its’ purest form, that has been freely given to me by THE creator of the universe, a love that fulfills me unlike any other love I could experience on my own.  And the best part… it’s never-ending. It’s ETERNAL!

“For God so loved the world that he gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.” –John 3:16

My Valentine’s gift exceeds anything I could ever ask or imagine. I hope you too will get to experience Valentine’s Day in a new light this year. There’s no better way to experience it than with Him.

Christy

 

I would like to join in Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 1:17-19 and pray this for you…

I pray that God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.” Amen.

NEW YORK OPENING

NEW YORK OPENING

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Vestibulum sollicitudin eu magna ut sollicitudin. Maecenas eu turpis enim. Phasellus sapien ligula, suscipit non urna elementum, dignissim accumsan mauris. Duis bibendum purus vitae purus scelerisque, ut mollis purus luctus. Vestibulum at auctor urna. Nam facilisis, justo ac pellentesque faucibus, libero magna congue tortor, eu varius ante nisi ac risus.

Cras feugiat, nisi non auctor eleifend, elit lorem laoreet erat, facilisis suscipit neque sadips ipsum sem eu ex.

Curabitur quam lorem, cursus in convallis at, pulvinar quis sem. Integer porttitor ornare purus, vel efficitur ligula cursus vitae. Aliquam erat volutpat. Nulla eu tortor a dolor sodales suscipit. Donec interdum magna ut orci tempus, non porttitor nulla dapibus. Praesent in tristique ex. Suspendisse ut lacinia orci, ut feugiat lorem. Sed rhoncus, lorem et sodales accumsan, urna ipsum cursus mauris, aliquam tincidunt nisl mauris at mi. Quisque elit nisi, auctor id lectus et, ultricies auctor ligula. Vivamus semper quam id eros semper finibus. Fusce rutrum id nibh vitae dapibus. Sed lacus massa, dictum eget nulla iaculis, vehicula volutpat metus. Morbi mattis aliquet tincidunt. Suspendisse cursus interdum felise ultrices.

Integer eu velit efficitur, placerat magna ac, malesuada risus. Interdum et malesuada fames ac ante ipsum primis in faucibus. Morbi rutrum augue orci, non bibendum nisi ultricies at. Pellentesque pharetra, nibh vel faucibus elementum, ligula magna congue lacus, et interdum est purus a ligula. Aliquam maximus, eros tincidunt convallis euismod, magna tellus placerat arcu, et consectetur lacus ipsum ac arcu. Maecenas ultrices lectus risus, eget sollicitudin erat facilisis in. Nullam fermentum eget sem sit amet pellentesque. Nunc rhoncus interdum lorem ac lobortis.

1,000,000 VISITS

1,000,000 VISITS

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Vestibulum sollicitudin eu magna ut sollicitudin. Maecenas eu turpis enim. Phasellus sapien ligula, suscipit non urna elementum, dignissim accumsan mauris. Duis bibendum purus vitae purus scelerisque, ut mollis purus luctus. Vestibulum at auctor urna. Nam facilisis, justo ac pellentesque faucibus, libero magna congue tortor, eu varius ante nisi ac risus.

Cras feugiat, nisi non auctor eleifend, elit lorem laoreet erat, facilisis suscipit neque sadips ipsum sem eu ex.

Curabitur quam lorem, cursus in convallis at, pulvinar quis sem. Integer porttitor ornare purus, vel efficitur ligula cursus vitae. Aliquam erat volutpat. Nulla eu tortor a dolor sodales suscipit. Donec interdum magna ut orci tempus, non porttitor nulla dapibus. Praesent in tristique ex. Suspendisse ut lacinia orci, ut feugiat lorem. Sed rhoncus, lorem et sodales accumsan, urna ipsum cursus mauris, aliquam tincidunt nisl mauris at mi. Quisque elit nisi, auctor id lectus et, ultricies auctor ligula. Vivamus semper quam id eros semper finibus. Fusce rutrum id nibh vitae dapibus. Sed lacus massa, dictum eget nulla iaculis, vehicula volutpat metus. Morbi mattis aliquet tincidunt. Suspendisse cursus interdum felise ultrices.

Integer eu velit efficitur, placerat magna ac, malesuada risus. Interdum et malesuada fames ac ante ipsum primis in faucibus. Morbi rutrum augue orci, non bibendum nisi ultricies at. Pellentesque pharetra, nibh vel faucibus elementum, ligula magna congue lacus, et interdum est purus a ligula. Aliquam maximus, eros tincidunt convallis euismod, magna tellus placerat arcu, et consectetur lacus ipsum ac arcu. Maecenas ultrices lectus risus, eget sollicitudin erat facilisis in. Nullam fermentum eget sem sit amet pellentesque. Nunc rhoncus interdum lorem ac lobortis.

EXCLUSIVE COFFEE

EXCLUSIVE COFFEE

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Vestibulum sollicitudin eu magna ut sollicitudin. Maecenas eu turpis enim. Phasellus sapien ligula, suscipit non urna elementum, dignissim accumsan mauris. Duis bibendum purus vitae purus scelerisque, ut mollis purus luctus. Vestibulum at auctor urna. Nam facilisis, justo ac pellentesque faucibus, libero magna congue tortor, eu varius ante nisi ac risus.

Cras feugiat, nisi non auctor eleifend, elit lorem laoreet erat, facilisis suscipit neque sadips ipsum sem eu ex.

Curabitur quam lorem, cursus in convallis at, pulvinar quis sem. Integer porttitor ornare purus, vel efficitur ligula cursus vitae. Aliquam erat volutpat. Nulla eu tortor a dolor sodales suscipit. Donec interdum magna ut orci tempus, non porttitor nulla dapibus. Praesent in tristique ex. Suspendisse ut lacinia orci, ut feugiat lorem. Sed rhoncus, lorem et sodales accumsan, urna ipsum cursus mauris, aliquam tincidunt nisl mauris at mi. Quisque elit nisi, auctor id lectus et, ultricies auctor ligula. Vivamus semper quam id eros semper finibus. Fusce rutrum id nibh vitae dapibus. Sed lacus massa, dictum eget nulla iaculis, vehicula volutpat metus. Morbi mattis aliquet tincidunt. Suspendisse cursus interdum felise ultrices.

Integer eu velit efficitur, placerat magna ac, malesuada risus. Interdum et malesuada fames ac ante ipsum primis in faucibus. Morbi rutrum augue orci, non bibendum nisi ultricies at. Pellentesque pharetra, nibh vel faucibus elementum, ligula magna congue lacus, et interdum est purus a ligula. Aliquam maximus, eros tincidunt convallis euismod, magna tellus placerat arcu, et consectetur lacus ipsum ac arcu. Maecenas ultrices lectus risus, eget sollicitudin erat facilisis in. Nullam fermentum eget sem sit amet pellentesque. Nunc rhoncus interdum lorem ac lobortis.

PACIFIC OPENING

PACIFIC OPENING

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Vestibulum sollicitudin eu magna ut sollicitudin. Maecenas eu turpis enim. Phasellus sapien ligula, suscipit non urna elementum, dignissim accumsan mauris. Duis bibendum purus vitae purus scelerisque, ut mollis purus luctus. Vestibulum at auctor urna. Nam facilisis, justo ac pellentesque faucibus, libero magna congue tortor, eu varius ante nisi ac risus.

Cras feugiat, nisi non auctor eleifend, elit lorem laoreet erat, facilisis suscipit neque sadips ipsum sem eu ex.

Curabitur quam lorem, cursus in convallis at, pulvinar quis sem. Integer porttitor ornare purus, vel efficitur ligula cursus vitae. Aliquam erat volutpat. Nulla eu tortor a dolor sodales suscipit. Donec interdum magna ut orci tempus, non porttitor nulla dapibus. Praesent in tristique ex. Suspendisse ut lacinia orci, ut feugiat lorem. Sed rhoncus, lorem et sodales accumsan, urna ipsum cursus mauris, aliquam tincidunt nisl mauris at mi. Quisque elit nisi, auctor id lectus et, ultricies auctor ligula. Vivamus semper quam id eros semper finibus. Fusce rutrum id nibh vitae dapibus. Sed lacus massa, dictum eget nulla iaculis, vehicula volutpat metus. Morbi mattis aliquet tincidunt. Suspendisse cursus interdum felise ultrices.

Integer eu velit efficitur, placerat magna ac, malesuada risus. Interdum et malesuada fames ac ante ipsum primis in faucibus. Morbi rutrum augue orci, non bibendum nisi ultricies at. Pellentesque pharetra, nibh vel faucibus elementum, ligula magna congue lacus, et interdum est purus a ligula. Aliquam maximus, eros tincidunt convallis euismod, magna tellus placerat arcu, et consectetur lacus ipsum ac arcu. Maecenas ultrices lectus risus, eget sollicitudin erat facilisis in. Nullam fermentum eget sem sit amet pellentesque. Nunc rhoncus interdum lorem ac lobortis.

Am I Enough?

Am I Enough?

As I sit tucked away in the corner of my favorite coffee shop, I’m in the midst of one of my guilty pleasures…people watching. Scanning the room I see the young college student in his jeans and t-shirt chillin’ by the window, sipping his cup of coffee, and zoned out with his earbuds while his books sit untouched. Then at the big table in the center of the room is the group of housewives dressed in the latest fashion chatting about the best restaurants in town. Over at the private corner table are the two older women who have met to talk about something deeper as one of them leans in toward the other to hold her hand and comforts her.

Then all of a sudden…time stops…SHE WALKS IN…the woman whose appearance is close to perfect. She’s wearing the latest designer heels, has seemingly perfect legs, a skirt that shapes her as if it was tailored only for her, every hair on her head is in the right place, her flawless skin and commercial smile cause everyone in the room to take notice for at least a second but for most, longer than a second. She acts like she doesn’t even notice or care that she grabbed the attention of close to everyone in the coffee shop. She scans the menu like it’s an average day and an average moment for her. I sit there in awe thinking, what would that be like?

It’s THAT type of woman that starts to mess with my head. Why? Because I know I’ll never be like that. I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum from THAT woman. If I could, I would wear t-shirt and jeans, tennis shoes, and a ball cap every day for the rest of my life. And most days, I do! When I see women like that, I start to cut myself down, how I fall short of what our world tells us is beautiful. She oozes femininity and beauty….what a woman is supposed to be like, right? As if flipping a switch, I quickly fall into the trap of feeling “not enough.”

But then my spirit gently reminds me, there’s good news for women “like me”…God makes clear in His word about who I am! Believe it or not, today I’m grateful I’m not THAT woman in the coffee shop. Why?

1. BECAUSE HE KNOWS MY NAME– Let me state that again…DSC_0019

THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE KNOWS MY NAME. He knows tomboy Christy from Arkansas. From the beginning of time to eternity, He knows ME. I can hardly wrap my head around that fact alone. God took time out of His busy schedule and thought about ME…down to every intricate detail of my being.

Psalm 139:13-14 says, “For you created my inmost being, you knit me  together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Vs16 “Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.”

And in Matthew 10:30 – Jesus says, “even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.”

In Isaiah 43:1The Lord says, “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.”

2. I AM CHOSEN and I AM HIS CHILD– The mere facts that HE CHOSE ME and calls me HIS CHILD makes my stock go UP…and up FAST!

1 Peter 2:9 says, “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”

I am a child of the King Romans 8:16 says“The spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.”

To me, there’s nothing more valuable in this world than God calling me His child. He is declaring I am His and I get to be with Him for eternity. There is no greater gift or VALUE than that!

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him, shall not perish but have eternal life.”

3. GOD HAS GIVEN ME SPECIFIC GIFTS and TALENTS I have a specific role designed by God to carry out for His purpose! That role was set up way before I ever came on the scene.

1 Corinthians 12:4-7 says, There are different kinds of gifts, but the same spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men. NOW TO EACH ONE the manifestation of the spirit is given for the common good.”

destroyer Ephesians 2:10 says, For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

God designed me with specific gifts for HIS PURPOSE. THAT woman in the coffee shop can’t fulfill what I’m supposed to fulfill. I’m designed to fulfill a completely different role for His Kingdom than she is, and she is designed to fulfill a role tailored specifically for her as well.

I’m grateful I’m not THAT woman. God knows my name, He has given me gifts and a role specifically tailored to ME, and He has chosen ME in ADVANCE to do those works, and above all, I AM HIS, a child of the one True King.

Bravegirl Jennifer says, “A woman’s armor comes in all designs.” Today, I like God’s design of me. I don’t want to dismiss, criticize, or compare His workmanship any longer. God’s word says we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” Thank you God for creating ME. Thank you God for creating the person reading this right now. I urge you, reader, to dwell on these scriptures so that you don’t forget how amazing you are. You’re amazing because God created YOU. You are here because He CHOSE YOU to be here for this particular time in history for this generation. You have a purpose that no one can fulfill but YOU! Now THAT is amazing!

Will you join me? Will you tell God thank you for creating you? Will you ask Him how you can fulfill His design for your life? Let God show you what He can do with YOU, His workmanship, which is always enough.

God Bless,

Christy

 

 

 

 

SYDNEY OPENING

SYDNEY OPENING

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Vestibulum sollicitudin eu magna ut sollicitudin. Maecenas eu turpis enim. Phasellus sapien ligula, suscipit non urna elementum, dignissim accumsan mauris. Duis bibendum purus vitae purus scelerisque, ut mollis purus luctus. Vestibulum at auctor urna. Nam facilisis, justo ac pellentesque faucibus, libero magna congue tortor, eu varius ante nisi ac risus.

Cras feugiat, nisi non auctor eleifend, elit lorem laoreet erat, facilisis suscipit neque sadips ipsum sem eu ex.

Curabitur quam lorem, cursus in convallis at, pulvinar quis sem. Integer porttitor ornare purus, vel efficitur ligula cursus vitae. Aliquam erat volutpat. Nulla eu tortor a dolor sodales suscipit. Donec interdum magna ut orci tempus, non porttitor nulla dapibus. Praesent in tristique ex. Suspendisse ut lacinia orci, ut feugiat lorem. Sed rhoncus, lorem et sodales accumsan, urna ipsum cursus mauris, aliquam tincidunt nisl mauris at mi. Quisque elit nisi, auctor id lectus et, ultricies auctor ligula. Vivamus semper quam id eros semper finibus. Fusce rutrum id nibh vitae dapibus. Sed lacus massa, dictum eget nulla iaculis, vehicula volutpat metus. Morbi mattis aliquet tincidunt. Suspendisse cursus interdum felise ultrices.

Integer eu velit efficitur, placerat magna ac, malesuada risus. Interdum et malesuada fames ac ante ipsum primis in faucibus. Morbi rutrum augue orci, non bibendum nisi ultricies at. Pellentesque pharetra, nibh vel faucibus elementum, ligula magna congue lacus, et interdum est purus a ligula. Aliquam maximus, eros tincidunt convallis euismod, magna tellus placerat arcu, et consectetur lacus ipsum ac arcu. Maecenas ultrices lectus risus, eget sollicitudin erat facilisis in. Nullam fermentum eget sem sit amet pellentesque. Nunc rhoncus interdum lorem ac lobortis.

LONDON OPENING

LONDON OPENING

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Vestibulum sollicitudin eu magna ut sollicitudin. Maecenas eu turpis enim. Phasellus sapien ligula, suscipit non urna elementum, dignissim accumsan mauris. Duis bibendum purus vitae purus scelerisque, ut mollis purus luctus. Vestibulum at auctor urna. Nam facilisis, justo ac pellentesque faucibus, libero magna congue tortor, eu varius ante nisi ac risus.

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Curabitur quam lorem, cursus in convallis at, pulvinar quis sem. Integer porttitor ornare purus, vel efficitur ligula cursus vitae. Aliquam erat volutpat. Nulla eu tortor a dolor sodales suscipit. Donec interdum magna ut orci tempus, non porttitor nulla dapibus. Praesent in tristique ex. Suspendisse ut lacinia orci, ut feugiat lorem. Sed rhoncus, lorem et sodales accumsan, urna ipsum cursus mauris, aliquam tincidunt nisl mauris at mi. Quisque elit nisi, auctor id lectus et, ultricies auctor ligula. Vivamus semper quam id eros semper finibus. Fusce rutrum id nibh vitae dapibus. Sed lacus massa, dictum eget nulla iaculis, vehicula volutpat metus. Morbi mattis aliquet tincidunt. Suspendisse cursus interdum felise ultrices.

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Healing Secrets

Healing Secrets

Deep, dark secrets.   No one has to know.    My secrets are not hurting anyone as long as they just stay here with me.
So what’s the point of sharing them?  I don’t get it.

Those were my thoughts as I sat across from my sponsor at her patio table one summer morning. I was working on what was probably my tenth cigarette of the hour– smoking like a train because #1, I loved cigarettes, and #2, we were talking about things that took me out of my comfort zone quickly.

We were discussing some things I had never shared with anyone, ESPECIALLY the people I respected the most… my parents.  They just happened to be coming into town that day to visit and celebrate with me my one year sobriety birthday.  My sponsor looked me in the eye and with a concerned, loving look said, “I think you need to tell your parents about everything. It’s eating your lunch.”

I looked at her straight in the eye and with a tone of determination and authority,  said, “No F’ing way in hell.”

In those days, the “F” bomb for me was quite common.  I was struggling in my recovery. I was depressed and couldn’t get out of it.  After throwing the “F bomb” in her face, she gently said, “Ok, how about this…go home, get on your knees before God, pray about it, and if you still feel this way, don’t talk to them about anything.”

I said, “Ok. I can handle that.” After all, I wasn’t agreeing to anything. Talking to God about it was not a problem at all. I could do THAT!

Walking back in the door of my duplex, I went straight to my bedroom and fell on my knees and started to cry. No…I actually started sobbing…overwhelmed with fear: fear of rejection…rejection from the two people I respected most in this world, full of frustration wondering why this was so important to say… couldn’t I just repent and let my past stay in the past?

“LORD THERE IS NO WAY I CAN DO THIS!  IF THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO, YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO DO IT.  I CANNOT DO THIS!  THERE IS JUST NO WAY!

Leaning against my dresser, I felt hopeless. Then, I heard it…coming from the kitchen: my sobriety song…the one I’d listen to when I felt discouraged.

My ipod was on the charger and I’d left it on shuffle that morning. It had been playing all morning from the time I’d left my house to go to my sponsor’s, until now. I hadn’t touched it. There were about 1,500 songs on my ipod and I was amazed THAT particular song started playing.

The next song right after that was “Happy Birthday.” It was my sobriety birthday! I sat there in awe of the two “random” songs I had just heard on SHUFFLE and hope started creeping in through those fearful tears. That defensive attitude I displayed just a short while ago started to soften.  Music is one of the most powerful ways the Lord touches me and He got my attention that day. He got me good.

Getting up, I walked into the kitchen and stared at my ipod.  The next song that came on began with these words:

I’m forgiven, because you were forsaken, I’m accepted, you were condemned. I’m alive and well, your spirit is within me, because you died and rose again. Amazing love, how can it be, you my King would die for me? Amazing Love, I know it’s true, it’s my joy to honor you in all I do, I honor you.”

If there was anything I needed to hear, it was those first words: “I’m forgiven.”
Then the next line… “I’m accepted.”

Wow, how powerful those words were to me in that moment. God was showing me that  the outcome of this conversation with my parents didn’t matter.  I am forgiven and accepted by Him.  HE is my security.  I started to cry again and said, “Ok God, I’ll do it.” I couldn’t believe how my mind had changed so quickly. All of a sudden I had total peace. I had the strength to do it.  Just leaving that small door open of praying to God made all the difference.

My parents showed up not long after. We sat and talked for over an hour and I confessed, making amends with them.  They were so gracious to me and we even prayed together when it was over.  I realize that other people do not always have the same grace given to them as my parents showed me that day and I will forever be grateful for that. But even if they had not responded in a grace filled way, walking in obedience to God was what had to take place in order for my healing to begin.  It still would have been worth it.

Because of my confession and amends, a new freedom and a new power rose up in me, leading to more healing. So THAT’S WHY His word says we are to confess our sins– so that we may be healed!

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16 paraphrased)  In other words, healing starts with CONFESSION. And you know what? The more I tell my testimony, the more freedom I receive EVERY TIME.

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There would be many more moments like this one in the years that followed and God would continue to show up and walk beside me during those steps of obedience. The more steps I took, the more freedom and confidence I would receive. I started experiencing His faithfulness, His peace, His joy, self-control, and His love. I started getting into His word and actually applying it to my life. Getting a taste of the fruit of His spirit only made me hungry for more. I realized THAT was the fruit I had been seeking for so long that I just never could find. I was just looking in all the wrong places.

 

As a result, today I no longer walk in shame or guilt over my past mistakes. I don’t have to keep secrets for fear of rejection from others. I realize that my purpose on this earth is to GLORIFY HIM. Because God is the center of my life, I’m able to accept His grace for the times I mess up and then make it right with the people I’ve hurt,  Experiencing Him overrides all my fears of not measuring up or worrying about what other people think.  It’s so much sweeter that I’ll take the risk.

Now the question remains…will you take the risk? I hope you will…because YOU’RE WORTH IT. Join me in risking it all for Him. He is faithful and waiting.

God Bless!

Christy