I’ve been learning so much about grace lately. I never realized how hard I’d been on myself. I always thought if I worked hard enough, I could prove to God that I was worthy of His love and favor. I wanted to be the strong one, the dependable one. I hated my failures. You can read my post on “Finding Grace in Nebraska“.
If you have already learned this lesson, bear with me, because it’s so important to learn. God wants to be our strong one. He wants us to depend on Him—not ourselves. His ability, and not ours—to protect and provide for our families, or even ourselves.
I had a dream recently. When I dream, it’s like an IMAX experience. You are really there—in vivid color! You hear, feel, sense every single part of it. In pleasant dreams, this is a blessing. In nightmares, well, you understand.
In my dream, I was inside my home and it was very stormy outside. There was an enemy raging outside, and I can tell you that the threat to my children was implied. When my children are threatened, there is a great protective mechanism that rises inside with a warrior’s cry!
I awoke with my mouth whispering, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.”
My husband woke me, as he knows what is going on when he hears me whispering Jesus’ name in my sleep. I then got up because one of our girls began to cry in her sleep.
When I had finally gotten her back to sleep, I sang myself to sleep.
The song, “Let it Rain” came to my mind.
In the middle of the song (2:31 in this video I’ve embedded), Psalm 97, verses 1-6 are read aloud. I tried to recall the passage as I prayed.
1 The Lord reigns, let the earth be glad;
let the distant shores rejoice.
2 Clouds and thick darkness surround him;
righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne.
3 Fire goes before him
and consumes his foes on every side.
4 His lightning lights up the world;
the earth sees and trembles.
5 The mountains melt like wax before the Lord,
before the Lord of all the earth.
6 The heavens proclaim his righteousness,
and all peoples see his glory.
I prayed for God’s armies to be unleashed against these foes that came in my sleep. The perspective of “Our God is greater, Our God is stronger” is very powerful and can combat these fears.
The greatest comfort in this sleep experience was my devotional the next morning. “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the Love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
It is not my own strength or power that I draw from, but God’s. And as I test the ability of God’s power to defeat my enemy—I find increasing courage and boldness to respond to those attacks firmly and standing tall.
That inner strength that God provides? It’s causing me to have more and more courage, even when I’m scared speechless. Bravery is not the absence of fear. It is a confidence, knowing our battles already have a victor.
Even though my feet may fail and fear surrounds me, I know who I trust. And He’s never failed. And He won’t start now.