Dear Daughter,
I’m writing this letter about twenty years early (or forty if your father has his way), but one day you will read these words and they will connect. They will mean something to you. What I need to tell you can be summed up in one word: WAIT.
Let me explain…
Yesterday I was resting in my favorite chair. It was about 5:00 pm, and I had been feeling under the weather all day. I sat and watched your daddy take stacks of folded clothes from the couch into our bedroom to put them away. Stacks that I folded two days ago and that I could have easily put away, but I hadn’t gotten around to it. He didn’t say anything; he just did it. He did it for me because he knew I needed help. And as I watched him, I had to fight back tears because I suddenly had this thought: “I hope Molly finds this some day.” And I think you will, if you can remember to wait. Wait on the guy who finishes your chores for you – who comes through in little ways to let you know he cares.
Wait on the man who looks you in your eyes and holds your gaze as he tells you you’re beautiful. Wait on the man who has a habit of telling you this when your hair is greasy, you’re makeup-free, and you’re wearing yesterday’s sweatpants. You’ll know he means it.
Wait on the man who gets up and goes to work. Wait for the guy who sacrifices in order to provide for his family. Wait for the guy who has a strong work ethic and takes pride in what he does. Wait for that man who dreams big and invites you to dream with him.
And when your dreams seem too big, too scary to ever come true, I hope you wait for the one who listens to your insecurities but then speaks truth into your heart and breathes confidence into your spirit. This man will bring you to tears by reading Proverbs 31 to you, telling you YOU’RE that woman, and believing it with every fiber of his being.
Wait for the man who thinks for himself – the man who stands apart from the masses unapologetically because he is rooted and grounded in God. Wait for the man who doesn’t need anyone’s approval. The man who teaches you how to be brave and courageous. The man who will fight for you and for what he believes in. Wait for this man.
Wait for the man who looks at the stars with you and ponders the mysteries of the heavens. Wait for the one who writes you poems…not all the time, but just enough to remind you how deeply his love for you goes. Wait for the man who buys you jewelry and flowers, but no stuffed animals (because that’s just cheesy)!
Wait for the man who makes you feel strong, capable, and worthy. Wait for the man who would never disrespect you. The right one will honor you even when he’s out of your presence. You wait on this man, and your heart will never doubt him.
Wait on the man who allows God to break him down and mold him into the man he’s meant to be. Wait on the one who has a calling to serve his Heavenly Father. Wait on the man who isn’t perfect, but who keeps pressing on, getting back up, and learning from his mistakes.
And finally, wait on the man who smacks your booty when he walks by, who hugs you for a full 60 seconds when you need him to, and who gives you amazing massages, even though you’re quite possibly the world’s worst masseuse and will never be able to repay him!!
My darling daughter, one of these days you will be wondering if it’s love and if some boy is the right one. My prayer is that your daddy will set such a high standard in your eyes, that you will never be tempted to settle for anyone less than who you deserve. Don’t get in a hurry to find love. Don’t feel pressured to give yourself away. WAIT. Wait on the Lord, and He will send you a man who is everything to you that your father is to me. God will grow the love between you as the years pass. Your patience will be rewarded.
Wait…please wait!!
LOVE LOVE LOVE this post! Printing for my daughter… who is 4 right now.
Sandy, saving this for your daughter is a wonderful idea! I applaud you for being one of those organized enough parents who can tuck it safely away for that time in the future when she’ll need to read it (which will be here before you can believe it!) and yet you’ll be able to find it! 🙂
I really liked this until the god stuff. Sad that something so sadistic has a hold on so many people’s lives.
I still liked it fir what it was even tho I’m not religious
Sadistic? You’re disturbing.
Yes, the bible describes a sadistic god similar to the pantheon of gods. Christianity depicts a god which sends people to an eternity of torture for the slightest infractions up to and including not believing despite zero evidence showing the existence of a god. In fact, many religions depict sadistic gods. The whole idea was that the gods viewed people as their creations and as playthings. Gods were invented as a form of control and an explanation for the things humans could not explain. Every time we found a way to explain something, the goal post was moved to another “unreachable” level.
In the bible it shows a god which manipulates men into wars, genocides, animal killings, familicide, incest, rape, torture, and abortion. The bible contradicts itself in rules and then modern folks pick and choose that which they find the most appealing. If you ignore the christian bible as a 100% truth, you are still left with some horrific bedtime stories. Any god which would hate a person and condemn them to eternal torture for behaviors which were purposely placed within “His” creation is no better than a four year old and thus sadistic.
People continually ignore that they claim that their god is all powerful and yet claim it is not their god’s fault that they go through terrible things in life. Starvation, childhood cancer, babies with aids, mental disorders, early deaths, being born into a society where women are treated as property (as the Bible treats women) seem like pretty sadistic things to happen for an all powerful god. And if that god “has a plan” then that takes a way free will. If that god “doesn’t know the future” then that god is not all powerful.
Stop making up the fairy tale in your head. You don’t believe in Santa Clause coming down your chimney and knowing if your bad or good, so stop believing in the fairy tale that says that an imaginary man in the “mountain/ocean/sky/space/other dimension” is controlling your life. Besides, who wants to go to some other place where it’s likely 90% of the people you know won’t be there? Who’s to say your Grandpa really made it into heaven given the multitude of rules there are to break merely through ignorance.
Wow, you are one who is so desperately in need of prayer.. And spiritual education, I dare you to pick up a bible, and prove yourself so sadly and badly
wrong.
Ask yourself this: what will you lose by believing in God?
It’s sad that your understanding of God is so ill informed.
Sounds like you’re still waiting to discover spirituality. Good luck with that when you do.
You r an awesome man just because this was sacred to u! One day u will bow down to this loving and compassionate God. Every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord! Start in John, what’s to loose, nothing but fear, confusion and doubt. You are made in this Gods image and chosen to be loved. Jesus gives abundant life! Love, a follower Jesus, who loves all people because this
Jesus man does.
Same here David. That sudden turn towards indoctrination was pretty abrupt. This is simply propaganda- a guy that thinks for himself but accepts others’ presuppositions on faith… isn’t that contradictory?
how sad… i pray God will have mercy on you even if you don’t know a thing about Him
I will pray for you “David”
Exactly what is sadistic about god? Please explain.
Same here. This God-Relationship thing is absurd. I don’t understand beliefs. Good moral character is enough for me.
Madeon, where did morals come from????
When a person loves a greater being and respects that he’s not the greatest thing in the universe and that he is held accountable to a superior being, he will treat you with a bit more respect than someone who doesn’t acknowledge that there is a god out there! This beautiful planet was created by someone far superior. And each one of his creations should be loved and respected!
What’s sad about this post is that the people bashing what religion or God has to do with this are very ill informed. This is 1 persons view. It actually speaks magnitude to what a man and father should be. As a father (baby girl ), and big brother to a sister who is getting married in 3 months time, I would not hope any LESS of the person to take mine or my father’s place at the table.
Its sad that the One who created you, gives you life and breath each day, allows you to speak and say such awful things, in your eyes is considered sadistic. He is anything but sadistic. If you knew Him personally as I do you would not dare say such a thing!
Sweetheart. I believe in God and all and hope there is a wonder afterlife, but for you to say you “know” God personally is bull. It is impossible to know someone or something that you have never met or seen. It is ok to say you believe in and love God, but not that you know him personally. Think before you say stuff please, it makes you look ignorant.
It isn’t ignorance. Its faith
When you write your letter you can tell your daughter whatever you want. This was not meant for your child, it was meany for hers and if she believes in God so be it.
David, God is not sadistic….he loves you like no one in this world can. Pray for him to reveal himself to you. Then you can know the TRUTH. It’s so amazing.
Your sad..and I feel sorry for you
Idk about sadistic, but the religious route it took ruined it for me as well
I hope you love heat and fire. Because that’s where you will be when I’m in heaven on white puffy clouds.
This is this most beautiful, insightful thing I’ve ever read. I’m in tears. This is the hope and prayer of every mother for her daughters. Love this so much.
Oh my gosh!! So true! Everything you said happened to me! It all happened the day I gave up and gave into the good Lord and waited for HIM to bring my soulmate and love of my life and hubby into my life when HE saw fit! Follow this ladies and I promise as Good had proceed for me (know I am not a strong church person but a good person with lots of faith in God). God bless ladies is a tough world to find a good guy in now a days!
And then dump him because he works too much, is too clingy, or too independent
It’s so cheesy though!
I love this and it touched my heart deeply. I waited and my husband is the best. Interesting thing is my father wasn’t the best but I prayed what I needed and wanted in a husband unlike my father in many ways but few I respected in my father and God blessed me and honored my prayers, but gave me more as “bonuses”… Like he speaks positive n lovingly to our children and our youngest is a girl and she said she wants to marry her father. Lol. That tells me that she will not settle for less. Thank you for this encouraging post.
Brought tears into my eyes! I have that same hope! lol
I think Molly is going to be waiting awhile for slavery to come back lol. In the military we call wives that “wait” for their husbands to do everything a dependapotamus.
It was a good read, but judging a man’s love is based on gem’s & flower’s compared to stuffed animals determines the man structural and spirituial maturity, is completely ironic based on saying objects aren’t the test of eternal love?
This is so true! Love it
Great post! (But I love stuffed animals and prefer them to Jewelry and flowers haha…) So guys and gals, just know that everyone prefers different things! You have to get to know them 🙂 never be ashamed to be cheesy…the best love is not afraid to be goofy together!
Hi! I totally agree – being goofy together makes a marriage so much more enjoyable!
Thank you for this post. I am about to move across the nation, after months if being scared and ‘waiting.’ This is exactly what I needed to read today.
Thank you, again!
Susan, I’m glad you were encouraged! Thanks for sharing!
Just a thought that the word “wait” should not be taken for a passive stance…that if the daughter waits patiently in her tower then the prince will come. Wait on the Lord yes, but fill your life with love and laughter, and tears and falling down and getting back up. Yes guard your heart, but don’t lock it away so deeply that you can’t even find it. As a single woman of God in her thirties I’ve been waiting for just such a man, but I know my life doesn’t begin when I find him…it began when I took my first breath this side of heaven. Thanks for sharing your heart with us!
Carrie, thanks for your perspective. I agree that waiting on a man before your life can start isn’t what God wants for single ladies. Ultimately, it’s Jesus who makes us complete. I pray that as you wait on God you will find yourself falling more and more in love with your Savior!
Amen!
Is this in regard to waiting for sex, or just waiting to find the right person? Maybe both?
Hi! When I wrote this, I was imagining my daughter in the future, wondering if some guy she likes could be “the one.” You’re right – I was thinking both, buy mostly my prayer for every young woman I meet is that she won’t give her heart or any part of herself away to a guy for the wrong reasons or at the wrong time.
Amen Emily.
Beautifully written…poignant & heartfelt❤️
Thank you for sharing!!!
Absolutely LOVE this! It’s not unrealistic to find a love like this, it’s what every good mother wants and prays for her daughter to find. She totally deserves it and is worth the ‘wait’. Let God guide your heart♡
Thank you Sandi! 🙂
My mom and step dad had this love. She was 3 years older than him and had my older sister and I and was married for 7 years. When my dad’s mom was making some comments about their age difference and the fact that she had been married and already had kids my mom said “I had to do something while I was waiting for him to grow up”
27 and 24 they got married after seeing each other 17 times in a quick impromptu ceremony and they were married for 29 years until death did them part.
Although I am not religious… the thought behind this blog is clear. be you, don’t rush it, it will happen when it’s time.
I love everything about this. As time keeps passing, it gets harder and harder to believe that there is actually someone out there. You believe it in your head but your heart starts to waver. Thank you for writing such an encouraging reminder that God is good, he is involved and that he loves us dearly.
I’m glad you were encouraged, 28winks! 🙂
Is 62 years old long enough? LOL Just joking. So glad all of that is behind me.
This is so true and I did find the man worth waiting for 35 years ago! Now I am printing this for my Grand-daughter…
This is such a beautiful request. I tell my daughter this almost daily. She’s 14 and thinks she is so unlovable because she’s never had a boyfriend. I tell her she hasn’t had one because the right one hasn’t met her yet. I think growing up and having your heart broken and breaking a few hearts is an unavoidable part of life, but the waiting is something that isn’t. I want my girls to never do anything to compromise their virtue or their morals just so they can get attention from some random boy. So far so good!
Tobin.. I spent many years in middle school and high school thinking like your daughter. Both my sister and I never had a boyfriend until our 20s. Keep telling your daughter that waiting is OK. When I think of my husband, I think of how lucky I am. I patiently waited until I knew I had found a man who would treat me right. I saw most boys in high school as immature. Having a boyfriend that young is fine, (she doesn’t have to wait as long as I did).. but it’s ok if she doesn’t! My high school friends told me I was “picky” and “unrealistic.” Yet I now have a wonderful man who is more than I could ever have dreamed for. It’s OK to have high standards and want someone to treat you the way you should be treated- with respect.
hi, 14, my dad wouldnt let his daughters have a boyfriend, we were his, we had to wait till we was 16 to even date, we were secure in the fact that our daddy loved us and we wasnt looking for a relationship, I was 19, when I met my kids dad, and I thot that was the age u are to be when relationships start, they need to have slumber partys, sports, skatin, swimming, ect. why would any 14 yr. old girl want to load her little brain up om a boy that will suck life out of her. Rhonda K. I am 58, and I have had a beautiful life.
Amen! I couldn’t have said it better about my 14 yr old daughter, or my 12 yr old daughter, or even my 10 yr old daughter! They have the daddy described in the blog. I just pray they use discernment, and do not assume all men are like he is!
Truth! Tell them how incredibly lucky they are to have a father like the one in this blog. Take it from a woman who doesn’t have a wonderful father. Her father cheated on her mother more times than she can count, used her as a lookout for many trists, and only was loving to get something from her. To women who are blessed with a man like in this blog, thank them for being a great man and model for your children.
Oh my tell your wonderful girl its ok to not be noticed by the boys just yet. I was her growing up too. Never noticed untill my husband noticed. My husband is, as this beautiful post suggests, a wonderful man, father, and husband. I perhaps wouldn’t have been this luck in love had i not waited…
I am sure she is amazing and someone will notice when the time is right
My daughter just turned 16 and is struggling with the dating. So many conversations have been designed around your message here. You said it so beautifully! Thanks for sharing! I will be printing this off for her to read
Elizabeth when I was your daughters age I struggled with dating as well I am no 26 and I am still waiting on God to give me the right man, whom he chooses for me to have. However when I was a young adult around the age of 18 I thought I had found the “one” and I gave myself away now I wish due to the peer pressure and things I was influenced by I should have waited however at that time my walk with God wasn’t anything like it is now, my advice tell your daughter she is beautiful no matter what anyone else says and God is saving her the “right man” and not to worry she will know when God sends her the ‘One” and to keep staying strong and not to let her friend dating life get her down tell her to just know God has the one for her when the time is right and she is so young that it is best to concentrate on God and school as well as her future. I have printed this out myself to keep.
I absolutely love this. My daughter is now 8, and we’re already talking about this. My two children are from a previous marriage. I know that God molded me through that relationship, but if I had just waited, things would have been so different. By leaving that situation, I hope and pray that the cycle has been broken for my children. I have since found the man that God set aside for me. He is everything in your letter (except for the poetry, but he makes up for it in other ways). Oh how I wish I could have given him my “whole” self, instead of giving pieces of myself to other men, or boys should I say. With that said, I am so very thankful for my husband, my Godly husband. It truly makes all the difference. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I will wait if it takes forever !!
Me, too. I’m 71already, but I’m still waiting until God finds the right man for me. If that time comes, I will be thankful, but it doesn’t come, I’ll still be thankful.
I absolutely love this. I found the man worth waiting for 6 years ago and can happily say we’ve been married for 2 of those years. He’s an amazing person and is everything you described as what a man should be and more. I tell my friends and younger women all the time to just wait. Wait for him. He’s out there. Love yourself, be complete on your own. And then embrace the moment when it happens. And never settle for anything less. Too many women do. And men as well really. Anyway…love love love this article! Thanks for sharing!
would have liked it better without the “god” references. The other sentiments are good, maybe could have mentioned that in order to find a man you have to find yourself first.
I love this and it is SO TRUE. I kissed quite a few frogs and I now thank God daily that I waited for just the right man to come along. There were many times I thought I was destined to be alone, or was tempted to settle for “good enough” and I am so glad there was a still, small voice reminding me that I was worthy enough to be treasured.
It wasn’t when I expected it to happen, he wasn’t what I imagined, but when I finally met “the one” it couldn’t have made more sense. Hang in there girls.
One of the best stories I’ve ever read. Brings back a lot of memories of Your Mother and Aunt Charlotte. Their Daddy always had serious talks with them.He always brought young GI’s home with him for a home cooked meal. When the girls turned 13 and 14 that stopped. He love his Children so much.
Just had a bad breakup and needed to read this.
Brought tears to my eyes. I’ve fallen in love with a man who is not my daughters biological father but he’s been there since I was two months pregnant and he Is the only daddy she knows and will ever know since her biological father didn’t wanna be a daddy and walked out. I hope and pray every day that one day she will find a man just like my fiance. She is so special in every single way and all a mother wants is to see their child happy and I will rest peacefully knowing she’s found a man like her daddy.
And if God’s purpose is singleness for her?
Additionally, we should also be wary of over romanticizing instead of putting emphasis on making a wise choice. Scripture is full of advice on this.
There is no instance in scripture, other than Adam and Eve, where God specifically designates one person to another. It is not there.
Pastor Mark Gungor offered $10,000 to anyone that could prove it.
If you feel a calling toward marriage, waiting for the right person to fall into your lap is foolish and often futile. Ask for God’s guidance when seeking a spouse.
I say this as a married man of almost 25 years and a father of three daughters.
Miguel, you have some great points to think on.
You are right that marriage takes work, that who you find attraction to is going to change in different stages of your life. Who a “perfect fit” might be looks different at 20 versus 30. It takes two people committed to working things out and letting God be the ultimate fulfillment for a marriage to work.
Having said that, I believe Emily’s intent was to encourage her daughter to wait for a man that would treat her with respect, with dignity, that would honor her as royalty in God’s kingdom. Not to settle or compromise in dating relationships with dishonorable and disrespectful boyfriends. To keep in mind her worth-that there are respectable people out there and that her daughter is worthy of being treated with that respect.
And that is a message I fully stand with, having three young girls of my own.
Thank you for your comments.
~BraveGirl Tammy
Miguel- There ARE other instances of God telling people who to marry in the Bible- Mary and Joseph, Isaac and Rebecca, Hosea and the prostitute just to name a few. God wants you to be in His Will at all times. I prayed for my husband before God sent him to me, and God sent who I needed, when I needed him. God puts two people together because it’s His Will. We need to pray God’s perfect Will for ourselves and our children. I’ve seen far too many people walk into marriage with such an attitude as yours and end up in divorce court within months. I see no reason to leave romance out of it since God wrote an ENTIRE BOOK about romance called Song of Solomon. God commands over and over men to enjoy their wives in a romantic sense. If God created romance, and emphasizes romance, let’s not belittle it.
Tell Pastor Mark Gungo, I want my $10,000.
Hosea 1:2 When the Lord began to speak through Hosea, the Lord said to him, “Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her, for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the Lord.” 3 So he married Gomer daughter of Diblaim, and she conceived and bore him a son.”
Matthew 1:20 But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.”
Genesis 24:14 May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.”
God said a prostitute, not Gomer specifically. Joseph and Mary were already betrothed and Joseph was considering putting her away. Lastly, Rebecca was not designated by name and by God but the result of a prayer by Abrahams servant.
Good try tho.
Miguel, You may be right that there is only one instance where God placed two people together, but then does it really matter that there is only one instance? The simple fact that it is in the bible and God did it with the very FIRST persons he created is a teaching that God does place two people together. Even though Eve came from a rib doesn’t make it any less sure that she was made for him. God is the alpha and the omega. He could have just as easily formed Eve two thousand years later to be another man’s wife. But no, she was destined for Adam.
In addition, I can understand the concerns to not over romanticize and use wise choice. Your comments for wise choice are relevant, but I believe that the author above does emphasize wise choice, though subtly. She gives specifics to her daughter to look for in a man and as the daughter does, she (daughter) can make the wise choice if that man is for her. Everyone one of those characteristics is obtainable. I will however, contend that not every one of those characteristics is seen at the very start of the relationship. Some may be seen as the relationship grows.
I do agree with you that some person’s may be destined for singleness, but that doesn’t mean waiting for the right person is foolish and futile. However, expecting that person you’re waiting for to fulfill you and not allowing the Lord Jesus to do that IS foolish and futile. But a woman who is full with the Lord Jesus, even living a single life waiting for the right one is fulfilled. Coming from a woman who is single, waiting for the right one, and Loving everyday God deems to bless me with. Even if I do live a full life single, expecting, waiting, but WITH GOD I am highly blessed.
Blessings to you and congratulations on a near 25 year marriage.
Are you sure you didn’t write this for me?! Seriously, thank you. This is exactly what I needed to hear in this exact moment.
I enjoyed this post and its message but I think you should of left the gender of your daughters future spouse out of the letter, what if she grows up to be a different sexuality?
Wow
sugs if they are loved by their dads and raised scripturally, and have dedicated parents to each other, they wont believe in same sex marriage.
I wish I had waiting 🙁 My spouse is none of these things. It makes me incredibly sad to admit that. I pray daily that God will mold him into this guy. I know we are all a work in progress, but it’s extremely stressful being in a marriage with someone so selfish and unsupportive. I’m committed to my vows before God and sometimes I believe my husband takes that for granted.
So…if you are single and reading this…please WAIT.
Dear Finding Me,
God, is a God of growth and restoration. and though it may seem futile sometimes, God does hear your prayers and responds. You too, “Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!” Psalm 27:14 (ESV). In addition, here are a few prayers that may help you to pray for your husband in accordance with God’s Will…
That he lives in accordance with God’s plan for his life {Ephesians 4:1-2}
That he would continue to lead and that God would be glorified in our marriage {Ephesians 5:25-29}
That the Lord would bless his work {Proverbs 22:29}
That he would lean on Christ in his trials {Psalm 46:1}
His integrity {Proverbs 11:3}
His temptations {1 Corinthians 10:13}
That he would have a giving heart {Proverbs 28:27}
For discernment in handling finances {Luke 16:13}
That he would trust in God’s plan, not his own { Jeremiah 29:11}
That he would give everything to the Lord in Prayer {1 Thessalonians 5:17}
That he would seek wisdom {James 1:5}
That God would give him discernment {Philippians 1:9-10}
That the Lord would teach him how to be a good husband & likewise me a good wife {Ephesians 5:22-33}
That he would submit his fears to God {Psalm 118:6}
That he would fully grasp his purpose in Christ {Romans 8:28}
For his health {1 Corinthians 6:12}
For strength {Psalm 28:7}
That he would be surrounded by people who bring him up {Proverbs 13:20}
That he would boldly declare the Truth of the Gospel {Acts 28:31}
That he would grow spiritually through reading, studying and prayer {2 Peter 3:18}
That he would have a humble, teachable spirit {Proverbs 15:33}
That he would be full of patience and peace {Romans 14:19}
That he would be quick to forgive {1 Corinthians 13 , Ephesians 4:32}
His Heart {Proverbs 4:23}
His Future {Psalm 119: 105}
Meliza, your words were beyond amazing. I was so moved by all you said…far more than the original post that I copied all you said so I can share it with my son (a single dad) and hopefully others as well. Thank you so very much for sharing your thoughts. Bless you
This is such a beautiful piece and SO true! What a lucky little girl to have a daddy who will set the bar so high for her 🙂 XO
I really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing!
So – I think I needed to hear this today. I’m in my thirties and am still trying to find a great guy who would be a good fit. Ironically, I’ve spoken at youth conferences and to teen groups to encourage girls about the same thing. And now, a few years later, many of them are getting married and I’m still battling it out in the online dating trenches. Thanks for the breath of hope and encouragement. I….needed it today. Here’s to hope and possibilities.
My first child, my baby girl, Emma, will be here in five weeks. I have this love for her mommy. I hope that I set the example of the man she wants to wait for. I pray that the man she chooses adores and respects her the way I do her mommy.
My mother could have written this about my dad. He was that kind of man. But she did not. I grew up believing marriage is simply that way and the man one married is that way. The former is to be believe can happen or not … so wait… not all fit that scenario… wait until the Lord says marry. Good article.
I found that guy and we have been married for 23 years now and am so blessed to have him in my life. I know that my daughters know what kind of man to look for and it will be someone like their dad. PS My sons know that the bar is set high for them because of the man my husband is, and it has been a joy to see them mature into young men who know how to treat their girlfriends with love, honor and respect.
There was a time in my life when I thought the scripture passage 2 Corinthians 6:14 was not all that important. While I realize even today that one person in a relationship can greatly influence the other when it comes to spirituality, but if there is absolutely no Christian roots within a person that is contemplating marriage to a strong Christian then serious consideration to the following scripture is needed. 2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? Being a Christian (or as I like to say, a true follower of Jesus), faith is a journey in which it is supposed to deepen and strengthen as time passes. It is the part that many may not understand. It is where God loves you, but doesn’t want to leave you where you are at. Through the power of the Holy Spirit our eyes are supposed to be opened and view the world through God’s eyes. We will always be sinners but that doesn’t mean that we keep repeating the same sins over and over. The quicker we learn what God desires for our lives the sooner we can avoid what the devil is putting in our way (at least as much as possible through studying His word and surrounding ourselves with fellow believers). We are to build each other up to the narrow road God describes that leads to Him. That is where being equally yolked plays a key role in how fast, if at all, the spiritual learning curve is in your life. The shorter the curve the more blessed your life together will be!
I want to say I found this man last week I was busy on the computer ( doing online training) and my dad asked me to do the dishes and my boyfriend willingly got up from the table and did the dishes for me I was so greatfull they may not have been done like I would have done them but he did them for me .
This is my husband, Edward; I hope and pray that should we ever be blessed with children, they find a love like this.
I love this! But one thing, A man is only as strong as the woman next to him. Takes tow to tango! Yes she should wait for this man, but she should become the best possible version of herself as well! Help her man and have that lucky guy waiting for her as well! We woman aren’t that helpless 😉
A great reminder… I’m 19 and have never dated, waiting for a guy who meets the standards my parents have helped me set growing up. So many times I want to give up waiting, but why would I want to settle for someone who doesn’t respect and love me the way he should when there still are men like this out there? My dad wasn’t all these things, but he did teach me how a man should whole-heartedly love and respect his wife. I was always his princess (and still am) and will wait for God to tell me when the perfect prince comes a long. Thank you for this article! It was a great encouragement for me to not give up waiting…
thank you. this is just too inspiring 🙂
I found “the one” last year in a time where I needed someone to come in to my life and pick me up off my feet and help me keep going on instead of giving up. I was in a dark place but I his it cuz I didn’t know what he was gonna think of me or if he was gonna run away. He seen me at my lowest and he stayed right by my side. We have been together for 6 months I’m 21 and he’s 24 and everyone is saying I’m too young to know what “true love” is or too young to want to marry this man, but truth is he has been the only one to stand by my side at my lowest, tellbme sweet things, do things for me even when I tell him he don’t need to, cuddle me all night, and when we argue and I’m walking away so I don’t say anything I regret he pulls me to him and holds me as I cry into his chest and he tells me everything will be OK and that he loves me. I love him with everything I have and he is the man that u described in this post so no everyone is wrong when they say true love doesn’t exist. It does u just have to wait for it and let him come to u and when God knows ur ready he will send him to u. We will be getting married in August and I’m glad I found someone I connect with mentally physically and emotionally. I love this and I hope that when I have kids I can save this for my daughter and she finds the same thing.
Hi, just wanted you to know that this is a very heartwarming and ispirational read. I hope you continue to write more of such inspiring works! To God be the glory and may God continue to use you as his instrument in spreading good pieces of advice to young women out there! Good night!
I would love to see even more examples of “this man”…. your article lost a bit of my support with the “Oh, and wait on the man who smacks your booty when he walks by you.” I think that’s not necessary information, and would be better edited out. It’s actually even a bit inappropriate, especially following all of the words about the man being Christlike. Bedroom talk doesn’t really belong in this article, even for something as seemingly playful as a bottom touch. (or, “booty smack”). It simply doesn’t help the point of the article. But other than this, and the jab at stuffed animals (haha), I enjoyed what you wrote. I think there are a lot more things you could add on to this. Eg. “Wait for the man that gets you up for church when you’d rather sleep in,” “Wait for the man who patiently looks you in the eyes when he listens to you—even when you’re disagreeing.” More, more, more! Thanks for writing 🙂
“Wait for the man who thinks for himself – the man who stands apart from the masses unapologetically because he is rooted and grounded in God.” this statement is wrong on so many levels and i think you know it.
My middle daughter married this man … and oh, by the way, SHE DID WAIT!! He is a godly man, is a mechanical engineer who supervises many other engineers in his firm. When he comes home and his home schooling wife is not quite there with supper, he has no hesitation in “putting on the apron” and helping out in the kitchen before supper AND after supper. He is involved with the kids, reads with them, spends time with them … get it?? This is the man you want to wait for, ladies. And sadly, I’m man enough to say, I was not that man … but my wife has been patient with me and we now have 41 years together under our belt.
That is awesome, for all of you! Thank you for being so open and sharing that God isn’t through with us yet (o;
This guy doesn’t exist so good luck with that and even if he did he’d be boring.
jon, this man does exist, and he has many flaws, but he married a woman good enough to not want to point his flaws out to the world.
‘Tis better to praise those dearest to you than to tear them down. You’ll all be happier that way.
Beautiful letter. I don’t have any daughters but I have a son an I wish the same for him. He’s been praying for his lady to come into his life. He is twenty five an still waiting. I pray it happens soon.
This is beautiful. Tears in my eyes. You are wise and talented. God bless you more.
Praying and trying to wait, but it’s so hard to believe this man is actually out there. Men of God, great character, still single are increasingly hard to find. They need great role models just like this daughter needs this mommy.
I will say- I think something to add to this- you can’t expect this as a woman and not be that yourself. During the time of “waiting,” we should be focusing on ensuring that we are Godly women, pure of heart, developed in kindness in grace, etc. or we cannot expect to find this and get it back. I know a lot of girls who are quick to point out how hard it is to find, but aren’t doing much to be the same for their future spouse. I am NO expert at this- I am working hard at it and fail often. It can get more and more discouraging when you see a lack of this kind of man out in the community. But I keep trying to focus on my relationship with God, ensuring it is real and strong, stepping out in faith and becoming more like the person I want to be, the person God wants me to be, and the person my spouse would want me to be… the only way I see I am going to draw this to me and not repel it, when that rare gem does finally cross my path.
Couldn’t agree more with this entire post…..i waited for and found this Man at age 27, and still, I think the author might agree…it’s still really hard sometimes! So finding someone worthy of your time, your life…totally worth waiting for……always!
Loving every word, except for the “buys you jewelry and flowers, but no stuffed animals (because that’s just cheesy)” bit. But then again, I still respect that because this post is for her daughter and she was just kind enough to share it to us. Thanks you for sharing.
I’m a teenager and I’m printing this for myself as a reminder… Thank You 🙂
I am a mother and grandmother in my mid 60’s. I was 12 when I first met my future husband, and knew, with complete certainty he was the one that I would eventually marry, and did. I do believe God puts people together for a reason, not sure what our reason is, because two people were never more different then the two of us. But after 44 1/2 years of marriage he must have a plan. That said I want to add that what you wrote is just beautifully written and one day your daughter will read this message from you and appreciate it. And if her father is everything you say he is she will have a living roll model of what a good man is.
I’m forever thankful I was able to find most of these qualities in someone. I specifically prayed for someone who will bring me closer to God, and he did. Someone who cares so much about his mom (and sister), and he does. I got a few bonuses too: he works (or worked) and studies hard and he also never never miss church. He tells me I’m beautiful (even if I think otherwise) and more often he tells me how much he loves (or loved) me.
We were together for a little over a month and a half. He was the one to end it. He’s someone trying to juggle full time job and church and family and school and me, all at once. He believed so much that if he thinks he can do things, God will make him able to do things, no matter how challenging they are. He was able to do so, for a brief time. I think he figures he had to let something or someone go, so he broke up with me and stopped going to work.
I’d be lying if I said I know exactly why he broke up with me. He’s an Engineering student, and I’m a licensed Nursing graduate (non practicing). I still plan on going into med school this school year. He was made insecure by a previous relationship. I try to solve this puzzle that maybe he’s insecure he’s not done with school yet, and I am. Maybe he gets easily jealous when I speak to other men. Maybe he got scared of how big my dreams are. I don’t know. But I know someone like him exists.
I don’t know if I deserve him, or if I could find someone better (and I hope I would). Maybe it all happened in the wrong time. All I know is even if you found someone too perfect, you would still have to WAIT. Wait if the time is right for the both of you.
Thank you for sharing this post. I will share this blog of yours to my friends. I hope they will also wait for the right man for them. God Bless you.
i cannot wait to write something like this for my daughter someday, because i too waited and found the man who was worth waiting for
This story brought me to tears. Thank you to the author and thanking you for changing my life for the good of my Father in Heaven, God and for the right man that he has for me.
I find this article extremely hurtful. Why should I have to wait for a man instead of being all of those things for myself? I want to find love, yes, but I want someone who makes me a better person just as I make them a better person. I shouldn’t need to play the ‘damsel in distress’ that so many of these situations depict. And if waiting for some man to rescue me is what being a christian woman entails, I would hope we as women could find something with more respect and is more meaningful for our lives
Emma, that is exactly what I have been thinking while reading all of this dribble. I don’t want a woman that is sitting around waiting for God to Fedex a husband to her. I also don’t want a girl who has no experience in dating and relationships. This will lead to misunderstandings and jealousy. Being a girl or guy, you need to get out there and make friends with the opposite sex. If your considering getting into a relationship definitely make sure you have known the person for a while before jumping in. If it doesn’t workout, you know the mistakes that both of you made in that relationship and you can try to not make them in the next relationship. If you wait around for some perfect prince or princess out of a Disney movie to show up to your door, and you think this is how love works, you are delirious. Relationships take work to survive, if you want to be helpless and have your spouse take care of everything for you, then your relationship will fail. Your better of hiring a servant if that is what you want out of another person.
Also God doesn’t make your decisions for you. He puts you in position to choose one of many paths to follow. It is up to you which to choose. If you make the wrong choice it’s OK, God made us imperfect beings. He wants you to pick yourself up and try again, not give up sit back and let others find you. If you do your wasting the life he gave you and the experiences he set forth for you, and as I see it that would be disrespectful to God.
I didn’t that she wants a man to save her daughter from this article. It’s just saying not to settle just for the sake of having someone in your life and you know in your heart that he’s wrong for you. I also don’t see where it says God will send you a man. I do see where she hopes her daughter finds a man that truly loves her for who she is and believes in God. All relationships take work. But if you’re not totally in love with this person it will come out eventually. Think of all the time wasted by then.
I tell my girls to wait for a man like this because I don’t think he exists lol.
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing.
Great article Emily…full of truth! I have one of those men and I pray that my girl will find one just like him.
Shellie Bowdoin
http://www.thefabjourney.com
Thank you so much for this article, I realy needed to hear it.
I don’t have a daughter, but I am someone’s daughter. And at 32, I’m still waiting. Wondering if “he” will ever come into my life. Sometimes it seems like it would be easier to just run with the wrong one. Thank you for this, I needed it.
Wow! I’m deeply touched by this article. I’m glad God placed this right into my lap because I needed it. Thanks… I wish you and your family blessings !
Thank you for this good article..it inspired me more to enjoy the Waiting:)
May you bless more hearts and be blessed with your heart’s desires, too!
I am so sorry that this loving letter to a daughter got turned into a heated debate on religion vs atheism. Why are we humans so eager for a fight? That’s what’s wrong with the world. Why can’t we all first develop wisdom–wisdom to let others believe what they believe…or not believe? Why does life have to be about who’s right and who’s wrong? What does it matter if this person believes that wisdom comes from a divine source, and that person believes it comes from the height of human self-determination? Please, let’s stop confronting and insulting one another over what we believe. It’s so foolish.
The letter was beautifully and lovingly written.
I cried! This is truly beautiful!!!! God bless you and your family!!
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