From a very young age, I have loved to perform. I can recall the hearth in our house when I was in elementary school. It was wide and deep, with three lava-lamp looking light fixtures (gold) that had each one primary-colored bulb. Red, yellow, and blue.
My sisters and I would position ourselves under the bulbs and sing for my parents on our “stage”. We put on plays, I was often the writer, director and main character.
We did a nativity one year and used two sawhorses and plywood to create a manger scene. I was delighted to let my sister and brother represent Mary and Joseph, my other two sisters with multiple stuffed animals represented the shepherds. I, in my blue bathrobe with white lace trim, was the sole speaking part as an angel that came up behind the scene and appeared above the blanket-covered boards and spoke the “Glory to God in the highest” part.
I began to write my own songs as soon as I could rhyme words, and my mom taught me how to pick out songs on our little toy piano. It grew to six months of piano lessons before my teacher fell and broke her hip and quit teaching. I was in band and choir from 4th grade through my senior year of high school and I majored in music in college. In high school I also began auditioning for school plays and overcame a lot of my shyness. I loved above all things to make people laugh. They weren’t actually laughing at me, but at my character and that was a pleasant reprieve from real life.
I was selected to perform my original song, playing piano and singing, at our high school graduation and even had my photograph in the paper!
I also dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom. How little I understood the conflict those dreams represented.
I will soon turn 33 and I’ve had a little perspective, but a small part of me has still clung to that dream of fame, recognition, accolade, importance, pomp and circumstance. I want to know that I matter, that I am important.
The problem? I’m seeking all of this from the wrong audience. I was born to be adored, but not by my fans. I was born to be adored by my Father. I am a delight to Him and bring a smile to His face every time He sees me.
He purposed me with all my talents and gifts, and my desires are not wrong, just misguided.
In the span of humankind, we are a drop in the bucket. If we’re really diligent we might get 90 to 100 years out of these bodies, but that is not much. We have seen repeatedly the sad loss of lives at their own hands, those who had seemed to have all they could possibly want.“And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” Mark 8:36 (NLT)
A dear friend shared with me such wise counsel recently as I told her of wanting to rid myself of the dream of becoming famous, knowing that it was not in line with my heart and soul which desires to please God. What she said will forever change my outlook. As I told her this, she heard in her head, “Make Him Famous.”
She told me that in doing so, my soul would find the filling renown I have sought. With every letter I type, every word I speak, every song I sing, every moment I share with every person I encounter, let my life be spent making Him famous.
The image I had this weekend was that of a vase or liquid-filled glass. When the glass is clear, you can see inside it. You will not as much focus on whether the glass is cracked or pitted or perfectly shaped. You will be looking at the contents. If instead, it is a ceramic container or vessel, you will be staring at it alone. It cannot show you what is inside, so you will meticulously scrutinize its every detail, wondering.
Imagine that inside that vessel is the one solution to your every problem. You drink of it and you will live forever and have whatever you need and you will be fulfilled and satisfied for eternity.
Perhaps what is inside is lovely, and aromatic, and you want to have it, but somehow it is masked by the container and you will be turned away if the presentation fails to meet your expectations.
Will you be drawn to the liquid or to the cup?
“but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.” John 4:14 (NASB)
Will I be consumed with being an attractive cup or will I allow my importance to come from what I carry inside me? Will I embrace the fact that I am a cup, not a decoration?
And all of you, dress yourselves in humility as you relate to one another, for “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 1 Peter 5:5-7 (NLT)
This year, may my life represent all that is within me and may I truly be able to Make Him Famous.
Our tagline here is that “It’s All For His Glory”. And that’s really where it’s at. When it’s not about me, there is no longer a burden of perfection that is unattainable.
How are you feeling after reading this?
Have you been feeling weary and exhausted and unsure what you’re lacking?
Do you seem to go up and down on this topic?
You’re not alone and we’d love to pray with you. Feel free to leave a comment!
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